Homework! Oh, homework!
I hate you! You stink!
I wish I could wash you
away in the sink
if only a bomb
would explode you to bits
Homework! Oh, homework!
You're giving me fits
I'd rather take baths
with a man-eating shark
or wrestle a lion
along in the dark
eat spinach and liver
pet ten porcupines
than tackle the homework
my teacher assigns
Homework! Oh, homework!
You're last on my list
I simply can't see
why you even exist
if you just disappeared
it would tickle me pink
Homework! Oh, homework!
I hate you! You stink!
2008年7月12日 星期六
2007年8月8日 星期三
It's Fangs Were Red
Its fangs were red with bloody gore
its eyes were red with meance
it battered down my bedroom door
and burst across my bedroom floor
and with a loud resounding roar
said, "ANYONE FOR TENNIS?"
its eyes were red with meance
it battered down my bedroom door
and burst across my bedroom floor
and with a loud resounding roar
said, "ANYONE FOR TENNIS?"
2007年8月5日 星期日
The Bloders Are Exploding
The Bloders are exploding
they are bursting left and right
like vials of nitroglycerine
or sticks of dynamite
They are going up like rockets
they are popping here and there
the sky is filled with Bloders
detonating in the air
There's a simple explanation
for this odd catastrophe
you are bound to go to pieces
when you dine on TNT
they are bursting left and right
like vials of nitroglycerine
or sticks of dynamite
They are going up like rockets
they are popping here and there
the sky is filled with Bloders
detonating in the air
There's a simple explanation
for this odd catastrophe
you are bound to go to pieces
when you dine on TNT
Ounce and Bounce
Bowen Ounce and Owen Bounce
fell off a speeding train
both were fortunate
and live to fall again
Owen Bounce, who weighed an ounce
was cushioned by soft shurbbery
Bowen Ounce just bounced and bounced
for he was round and rubbery
fell off a speeding train
both were fortunate
and live to fall again
Owen Bounce, who weighed an ounce
was cushioned by soft shurbbery
Bowen Ounce just bounced and bounced
for he was round and rubbery
My Sister Is a Sissy
My sister is a sissy
She's afraid of dogs and cats
a toad can give her tantrums
and she's terrified of rats
she screams at things at stingers
things that buzz, and things that crawl
just the shadow of a spider
sent my sister up the wall
A lizard makes her shiver
and a turtle makes her squirm
she positively cringes
at a prospect of a worm
she's afraid of things with feathers
she's afraid of things with fur
she's scared of almost everything-
how come I scared of her?
She's afraid of dogs and cats
a toad can give her tantrums
and she's terrified of rats
she screams at things at stingers
things that buzz, and things that crawl
just the shadow of a spider
sent my sister up the wall
A lizard makes her shiver
and a turtle makes her squirm
she positively cringes
at a prospect of a worm
she's afraid of things with feathers
she's afraid of things with fur
she's scared of almost everything-
how come I scared of her?
The Diatonic Dittymunch
The Diatonic Dittymunch
plucked music from the air
it swallowed scores of symphonies
and still had space to spare
sonatas and contatas
slithered sweetly down it throat
it made ballads into salads
and consumed note by note
It ate marches and mazurkas
it ate rhapsodies and reels
minuets and tarentellas
were the staples of its meals
but the Diatonic Dittymunch
outdid itself one day
it ate three-act opera
and loudly passed away
plucked music from the air
it swallowed scores of symphonies
and still had space to spare
sonatas and contatas
slithered sweetly down it throat
it made ballads into salads
and consumed note by note
It ate marches and mazurkas
it ate rhapsodies and reels
minuets and tarentellas
were the staples of its meals
but the Diatonic Dittymunch
outdid itself one day
it ate three-act opera
and loudly passed away
I Am Falling off a Mountain
I am falling off a mountain
I am plummeting through space
you may see this does not please me
by the frown upon my face
As the ground keeps getting nearer
it's a simple task to tell
that I've got a slight delimma
that my day's going well
My velocity's increasing
I am dropping like a stone
I could do with some assistance
is there someone I can phone
Though I'm unafraid of falling
I am prompted to relate
that the landing has me worried
and I don't have long to wait
I am running out of options
there's just one thing left to try-
in the next eleven seconds
I have got to learn to fly
I am plummeting through space
you may see this does not please me
by the frown upon my face
As the ground keeps getting nearer
it's a simple task to tell
that I've got a slight delimma
that my day's going well
My velocity's increasing
I am dropping like a stone
I could do with some assistance
is there someone I can phone
Though I'm unafraid of falling
I am prompted to relate
that the landing has me worried
and I don't have long to wait
I am running out of options
there's just one thing left to try-
in the next eleven seconds
I have got to learn to fly
I've Got an Incredible Headache
I've got an incredible headache
my temples are throbbing with pain
it feel like a freight train with two locomotives
is chugging about in my brain
I'm sure I can't stand it much longer
my skull's being squeezed in a vise
as regiments march to the blaring of trumpets
and thousands of tap-dancing mice
My head's filled with horrible nioses
there's a man mashing melons inside
someone keeps drumming on bongos and plumbing
as porpoises thrash in the tide
An elephant herd is stampeding
a valcano is blowing its top
and if I keep hitting my head with this hammer
I doubt that my headache will stop
my temples are throbbing with pain
it feel like a freight train with two locomotives
is chugging about in my brain
I'm sure I can't stand it much longer
my skull's being squeezed in a vise
as regiments march to the blaring of trumpets
and thousands of tap-dancing mice
My head's filled with horrible nioses
there's a man mashing melons inside
someone keeps drumming on bongos and plumbing
as porpoises thrash in the tide
An elephant herd is stampeding
a valcano is blowing its top
and if I keep hitting my head with this hammer
I doubt that my headache will stop
I Spied My Shadow Slinking
I spied my shadow slinking
up behine me in the night
I issued it a challenge
and we started in to fight
I wrestled with that shadow
but it wasn't any fun
I tried my very hardest-
all the same, my shadow won
up behine me in the night
I issued it a challenge
and we started in to fight
I wrestled with that shadow
but it wasn't any fun
I tried my very hardest-
all the same, my shadow won
Mable, Remarkable Mable
Oh, Mable, remarkable Mable
your dining demeanor is queer
you eat with your feet on your table
while a teaspoon sticks out of your ear
Your mouth opens wide and than wider
as you shovel six hamburgers in
your elbows are dripping with cider
there mustared all over your chin
In your lap lies a lump of linguine
your toes cling to slices of bread
your kness balance pound of zucchini
there's a pudding on top of your head
Your nose is spread thickly with butter
your shoulders hold pickles in brine
Oh, Mable, you may make me mutter
but it's wonderful watching you dine
your dining demeanor is queer
you eat with your feet on your table
while a teaspoon sticks out of your ear
Your mouth opens wide and than wider
as you shovel six hamburgers in
your elbows are dripping with cider
there mustared all over your chin
In your lap lies a lump of linguine
your toes cling to slices of bread
your kness balance pound of zucchini
there's a pudding on top of your head
Your nose is spread thickly with butter
your shoulders hold pickles in brine
Oh, Mable, you may make me mutter
but it's wonderful watching you dine
Forty Performing Banana
We're FORTY PERFORMING BANANA
in bright yellow slippery skin
our features are rather appealing
through we've neither shoulders nor chins
we cha-cha, fandango, and tango
we kick and we skip and we hop
while half of us belt out a ballad
the rest of us spin like a top
We're FORTY PERFORMING BANANA
we mambo, we samba, we waltz
we dangle and swing from the ceiling
then turn very slick somersaults
people drive here in bunches to see us
our splits earn us worldly renown
we're FORTY PERFORMING BANANA
come see us when you are in town
in bright yellow slippery skin
our features are rather appealing
through we've neither shoulders nor chins
we cha-cha, fandango, and tango
we kick and we skip and we hop
while half of us belt out a ballad
the rest of us spin like a top
We're FORTY PERFORMING BANANA
we mambo, we samba, we waltz
we dangle and swing from the ceiling
then turn very slick somersaults
people drive here in bunches to see us
our splits earn us worldly renown
we're FORTY PERFORMING BANANA
come see us when you are in town
When Dracula Went to The Blood Bank
When Dracula went to the blood bank
he thoroughly flustered the staff
for rather than make a donation
he drew out a pint and a half
he thoroughly flustered the staff
for rather than make a donation
he drew out a pint and a half
My Brother's Head Should Be Replaced
My brother's head should be replaced
It's lighter than a feather
he's trying to use tomato paste
to paste tomatoes togete
It's lighter than a feather
he's trying to use tomato paste
to paste tomatoes togete
The New Kid on the Block
There’s a new kid on the block
and boy, that kid is tough
that new kid punches hard
that new kid plays real rough
that new kid’s big and strong
with muscles everywhere
that new kid tweaked my arm
that new kid pulled my hair
That new kid likes to fight
and pick on all the guys
that new kid scares me some
(that new kid’s twice my size)
that new kid stomped my toes
that new kid swiped my ball
that new kid’s really bad
I don’t care for her at all
and boy, that kid is tough
that new kid punches hard
that new kid plays real rough
that new kid’s big and strong
with muscles everywhere
that new kid tweaked my arm
that new kid pulled my hair
That new kid likes to fight
and pick on all the guys
that new kid scares me some
(that new kid’s twice my size)
that new kid stomped my toes
that new kid swiped my ball
that new kid’s really bad
I don’t care for her at all
When Tillie Ate The Chili
When Tillie ate the chili
she erupted from her seat
she gulped a quart of water
and fled screaming down the street
she coughed
she wheezed
she sputtered
she ran totally amok
she set a new world record
as she raced on the block
Tillie’s mouth was full of fire
Tillie’s eyes were red with tears
she was smoking from her nostrils
she was steaming from her ears
she cooled off an hour later
showing perfect self-control
as she said, “What tasty chili
I should like another bowl.”
she erupted from her seat
she gulped a quart of water
and fled screaming down the street
she coughed
she wheezed
she sputtered
she ran totally amok
she set a new world record
as she raced on the block
Tillie’s mouth was full of fire
Tillie’s eyes were red with tears
she was smoking from her nostrils
she was steaming from her ears
she cooled off an hour later
showing perfect self-control
as she said, “What tasty chili
I should like another bowl.”
My Dog, He Is an Ugly Dog
My dog, he is an ugly dog
he's put together wrong
his legs are much too short for him
his ears are much too long
My dog, he is a scrufffy dog
he's missing clumps of hair
his fase is quiet ridiculous
his tail is scarcely there
My dog, he is a dingy dog
his fur is full of fleas
he sometimes smells like dirty socks
he sometimes smells like cheese
My dog, he is a noise dog
he's hardy ever still
he barks at almost anything
his voice is loud and shrill
My dog, he is a stupid dog
his mind is slow and thick
he's never learned to catch a ball
he cannot fetch a stick
My dog, he is a greedy dog
he eats enough for three
his belly bulges to the ground
he is the dog for me
he's put together wrong
his legs are much too short for him
his ears are much too long
My dog, he is a scrufffy dog
he's missing clumps of hair
his fase is quiet ridiculous
his tail is scarcely there
My dog, he is a dingy dog
his fur is full of fleas
he sometimes smells like dirty socks
he sometimes smells like cheese
My dog, he is a noise dog
he's hardy ever still
he barks at almost anything
his voice is loud and shrill
My dog, he is a stupid dog
his mind is slow and thick
he's never learned to catch a ball
he cannot fetch a stick
My dog, he is a greedy dog
he eats enough for three
his belly bulges to the ground
he is the dog for me
My Baby Brother
My baby brother is so small
he hasn’t even learned to crawl
He’s only been around a week
and all he seems to do is bowl
and wiggle, sleep…and leak
he hasn’t even learned to crawl
He’s only been around a week
and all he seems to do is bowl
and wiggle, sleep…and leak
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